Mystery Boxer Briefs

This morning, after a long night of binge drinking, procrastination, and other time honored collegiate activities, I stepped into my residential hall (the Resident Assistants inform me "dorm" carries a negative connotation and as such should be stricken from my vernacular) hallway, as I am want to do most mornings, only to find a solitary pair of boxer briefs, but a few inches from my own door. I will admit that their presence disturbed me, due to their unknown origin and more so their proximity to my living quarters. I was however able to conquer my fear of the vagrant undergarments long enough to bypass them as I journeyed to the lavatory.

Throughout the day I did inquire amongst my fellow residents for any hint or explanation for the appearance of the orphaned unmentionable, but to no avail. Our floor is quite small and our community very close, so the inability of anyone to offer an explanation only served to deepen the mystery. I tried to banish the boxer briefs from my mind, but they haunted my thoughts, lurking in my mind as they had outside my door in the night.

As I obsessed, I came to a conclusion. Some time in the dead of night, under cover of darkness, one nefarious soul, not of our floor, must have crept silently up the stairs from some other section of the building (for the elevator makes too much noise and would surely have alerted someone), clad only in their boxer briefs, and disrobed in front of my door. Having completed their plot to terrorize me, the individual must have slunk, naked, back to their lair, black heart full of joy, knowing what I would discover the very next morning. I must find them, if only to sleep safely once more.